Now for those of you who are my close personal friends, you'll know three idiosyncracies of mine : 1) I hate kiwi's. The fruit, not the people. Anything with fur on it doesn't qualify as a fruit. They are hairy aliens in disguise. Trust me. 2) I'm petrified of werewolves and get all paranoid when the full moon blazes in all its lunar glory in the night sky. 3) I despise those pussies from Micheal Learns To Rock. Having being brought up on a staple of GnR, Metallica, Def Leppard, Bon Jovi and Soul Asylum, it is understandable why MLTR leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. " How so?" you ask. Real rock bands have : 1) Outlandish fashion sense like dressing up in top hats and floral scarves. 2) Amputees as drummers 3) A lead singer with a voice forged in the heat of a million sticks of Marlboro Reds and baptised in an olympic-sized swimming pool of Jack Daniel's. 4) Broken hearts that can only be mended by blowing someone away with a .44 magnum or getting a blowjob from a groupie........sometimes both. 5) Tight leather pants and walk like they're hung like a Silverback Gorilla on steroids. MLTR's squeeky clean image has been tarnished by none of the above. PFFT! Their wholesome image makes Mother Theresa look like a Tranny in fishnet stockings with a drug habit. So, a couple of days ago, I was doing my usual karaoke pub thing and was singing 'The Actor' in my best "choir boy" voice. Kev gave me the most incredulous look. I think he couldnt be more surprised if I told him I wanted to get a brazillian wax done by a gay WWF wrestler. ( gives a whole new meaning to "choke-hold" huh? ) So anyways I thought I would explain myself. I heard 'The Actor' recently on radio and had a chance to really pay attention to the lyrics. They reminded me of a time when I was in a very bad head space, floundering in despair.....before fully embracing my P.U.A persona. Very bittersweet indeed, a poignant reminder of my A.F.C days. Anyway, MLTR is still a bunch of pussies. " I just can't tell you I love you so......even though my odds are low..." BLEAH! | 
